like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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