dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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