____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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