Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
