Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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