Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize