all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
