sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
