I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize