We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
