first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
me + whiskey = a bad person
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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