I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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