About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
