My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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