Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize