She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
