also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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