I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
