im six kinds of drunk right now
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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