i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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