Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Randomize
