we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize