when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
