Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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