i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Drunk is not a location!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
