In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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