I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
