too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
