did you get engaged???
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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