this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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