so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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