he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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