wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
