Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
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When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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