Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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