Me too!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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