I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
