I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Randomize
