So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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