I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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