I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize