i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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