The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
organizing the empties. That sober.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
