so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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