I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
