U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
