we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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