I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize