fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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