Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
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you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
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Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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