just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
