bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
And then he peed in my hair
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