erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
